Never going to the doctor
Because I am old – or what the medical profession considers old – I am constantly bombarded with screening kits, invitations to go for this or that expensive health check and I also regularly receive texts or emails from my local GP practice for various annual tests, plus the flu vaccine and checks for my cholesterol levels.
And do you know what? I ignore them all. The bowel cancer kits I receive from time to time go straight into the bin and I have never in my life had a mammogram or smear test, even though I am always being coerced or even bullied into making an appointment to have one. I have made a unilateral stand against all the blandishments.
Although most GPs' surgeries are full of old people, you will not find me among the patients drooling there. In the nearly seven years that I have lived in Oxford, I have been to the doctor's precisely twice; once for a referral and once for antibiotics for an ear infection.
Indeed, I went so rarely to my previous GP that I was struck off for non-attendance. You would imagine that doctors might like me as I take up so little of their valuable time, but no. It seems you have to make regular visits to remain on their list, even if there is nothing wrong with you.
Because I never go to the doctor, I am not on any medication of any kind, and I certainly never queue up to be injected with the flu vaccine.
So am I being completely irresponsible, blithely ignoring health advice from every quarter to go for constant checks and tests? I am told I should have a diabetes check, an osteoporosis check, that I should have my blood pressure regularly monitored and my eyes tested for cataracts and macular degeneration. Catch it early, so the mantra goes, and you increase your chances of zapping or managing your condition.
Am I decreasing my chances of a long life, just because I am not on buckets of pills? Am I storing up trouble for myself in future, because it never even occurs to me to maintain regular contact with my GP? To tell you the truth, I don't even know who my GP is.
All I can say is, so far so good. To the best of my knowledge, I am not suffering from any medical condition whatever and I believe that at least part of the reason for this is my philosophy of not going looking for illness and not taking medication 'in case' – which is how modern prescribing is going. Thousands if not millions of over-55s are prescribed statins just in case their cholesterol levels might rise in future. In fact, some doctors have urged that everybody, including children, should be put on statins to keep their cholesterol levels low.
Most of my over-60 friends are on statins and when I ask them why, they say they don't know, but their doctor recommended them. When any of them come to stay, they bring out their compartmentalized pill cases, or pill organisers as they are called, and taking these tablets has become a lengthy morning and evening ritual for them. Sometimes their medications include vitamins and other supplements and I have to say I don't take any of those either, never mind that pharmacies and health food shops are full of supplements to treat or 'help' a vast range of conditions.
It seems that I have become a rare statistic. The latest figures show that 20 per cent of the over-70s take five or more different drugs a day, and most elderly patients have no idea why they are on so many of them. Prescriptions of all kinds now cost the NHS £15 billion a year.
You might imagine that with a sum like this, the NHS might want to cut its drug bill. But no. One of the main reasons that people of my age are prescribed so many pills is because since 2004, doctors' pay has been linked to managing certain conditions, and they are judged according to the number of patients they put on tablets. That is why doctors don't like me – I am reducing their salary.
Most of my friends are horrified when I tell them I never go for medical tests or checks, and say they would not dare to be as blasé about their health as I am apparently about mine.
Although unusual in my attitude, I am not quite a lone voice in the wilderness. Glasgow GP Dr Margaret McCartney, author of the book The Patient Paradox: why sexed-up medicine is bad for your health, says that a lot of elderly people feel pressurized into going on tablets. In her view, today's patients have been turned into customers whereby clinics and waiting rooms are jammed up with healthy people who are lured into having their blood pressure taken and undergoing cholesterol and smear tests and bowel and breast cancer screening.
Mostly, there will be nothing wrong with them.
And medical charities, she argues, are using dodgy PR and unreliable statistics to 'raise awareness' when such awareness is rarely necessary. The current obsession with screening swallows up not just NHS time but also the money of healthy people who pay thousands to private companies for tests they simply don't need. 'There is far too much testing of well people,' Dr McCartney says.
In time, it's true, I may become ill and need a whole battalion of medical treatment, but until that day comes, I shall continue to steer clear of doctors and expensive clinics, and adhere to the ancient, non-pharmaceutical advice for keeping well: 'Dr Diet, Dr Quiet and Dr Merriment.' These lifestyle choices, plus healthy (vegetarian) eating, a rigorous gym routine, and never giving my health a moment's thought, keep me fitter and younger, I am sure, than all the heavy artillery that Big Pharma can offer.
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The Patient Paradox: Why Sexed-Up Medicine is Bad for Your Health, is published by Pinter and Martin, £9.99